the devil between you and me
- Mar 27
- 2 min read
a fight like this could go on forever,
the fire begs to be fed.
my body barely holds the memories, stored somewhere like a flashback of a dream dreamt years past. my realization speaks to me. it’s not about what happened. god helped me give that up. it’s about what we keep alive.
i picture myself as a river flowing between two structures. forgiveness, in all of it’s wars and ways, is a gracious approach to reality. she teaches me humility. how to fall apart and how to get back up again. to not be overcome by anger, but to overcome anger through God’s presence.
i denied Jesus for almost my entire life. a lot of humanity does. the distance was inherited by the culture/systems that shape society. egoic minds convinced of self imposed healing, dive deeper into invisible selfishness & intentions that serve none but the greedy.
where is your God? who is she? does she come when you call? does she even knock at all?
there has been a shift in me. i no longer feel the darkness inside. a different choice, a full surrender. the spirit of the lord continues to lighten each room i step into, offering the gift of spaciousness for free. a dissipated heaviness. burdens carried loosen as the river flows between.
it was a simple shift once i forgave myself and others for not being present in moments of suffering. stepping out of righteousness for once and letting the fire fade. practicing patience mostly. to release control where forced immediate clarity lives. this tension sits in me like a tightrope across an abyss. it took me fighting with God to fear him. i've raged and cursed towards the lord and have only been met with more and more love. my release of anger gradually gave way for space to grow in the authentic heart of Jesus. this is not the Christ who your parents forced you to worship. it is the Christ who truly wants to know you for who you are.
i’ve been blessed to develop wisdom through what i’ve experienced. but how do i share it with others without letting stubbornness define my actions? i know how easy it is to slip. years can pass like that. moving beyond your own brokenness without ever really facing it & still feeling lost.
there is so much more to being alive than existing in an empty spirit. i’ve felt glimpses of heaven in learning how to ask for help. been experiencing real joy instead of a distant prototype. quiet in my mind, uplifted in presence.
god shows up in the dark where we can’t see, and meets us exactly where we are.
i’ve studied other beliefs in depth before. worshipped deities i will not name. followed false prophets. an unsettling evil I must say. you could get lost in it, always needing fixing no matter far you go. understanding Christianity as a real time experience. in small decisions, softened choices, and holding forgiveness close (instead of following outdated patterns and cycles).
the devil once lived between you and me. for i have released a grip on the tightrope tension, i find myself falling freely.
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